Remember those career classes you’d have to sit through and listen at during high school about what goes on at such-and-such’s mother’s/father’s job? Here’s my version of that:

8:00 Wake up with splitting headache and that involuntary twitch in my right bicep. Curse inanimate objects, and then feel stupid when remembering they have no free will and can’t help it.

8:15 Bring French-pressed coffee into the bathroom and queue up Talking Heads on iPod deck. Shower and weep softly about the likelihood of that being the highlight of my day.

8:45 Think about shaving but don’t. Moisturize.

8:55 Dress self in black tee, grey jeans, and black motorcycle boots. Resist urge to ironically wear Nonsociety hat to office.

9:00 Check Moto Q. Paraphrased: “Fuck all of you.”

9:20 Get on train. Realize that after fifteen years, you still don’t really understand Wu-Tang Clan’s music.

9:35 Wait in humongous line at 34th and Park Ave. Starbucks.

10:00 Call about writing projects you’re working on.

10:30 Start on op-ed submission for a New York paper that’s been around for a long Times. Accept someone’s offer to bring you coffee.

1:00 Eat Qdoba.

1:45 Spend two fucking hours trying to write a decent lede; buy more coffee.

3:45 Buy Freud’s “On Narcissism: An Introduction” on Amazon.com. Ponder your interpretation of Freudian narcissism: that the surest way to accomplish efficacy is to refuse to give love (“ego-libido”) to any one or thing (“object-libido”) so as to not become dependant on their reciprocation.

3:50 Compose e-mail to friends about tonight but delete it because you’d rather just drink bourbon alone.

4:00 Send e-mail to clients. Paraphrased: “Fuck all of you.”

4:30 Copy-edit op-ed and send off into the abyss. Buy coffee.

5:00 Read Tumblr dashboard, G-Mail, and RSS feeds.

5:30 Awkwardly ask one of our interns out for drinks; learned her mother just had surgery and can’t shower.